I realize that doing this may seal my fate in hell, but I just had to share. These are quotes are from this week's testimony meeting in church. I had to literally bite my tongue so I wouldn't laugh. Oh, singles wards....Enjoy!
"I like, never, like, come up here, so it's like, hard for me to like, express my feelings."
"I'm a lifeguard. That's why I'm so ridiculously tan."
"My friend and I play a game that if you count to 10 before anyone stands up, you have to go up. And it have to be like 1..2..3.., not 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi. And so she kept saying "10" but I was like "nope, someone got up". And that happened like 3 times, but then no one got up...so here I am."
"Sometimes I need to come down from my level and talk to those who are on a lower level."
"I have such a cute, bubbly, fun personality!" (flips hair back and forth)
"I was on my death bed. I mean, I had blood oozing out of my eyes, and every crevasse of my body."
"This baby, named Altez, had like a mohawk. I'm talking like a real mohawk, shaved on the sides and all." (all the time framing his own fohawk with his hands)
"Hi my name is Amy. 'Sup"
"I gave my cousin a Homer Simpson birthday card, and it had a beer in it. He liked that."
8 comments:
ha ha ha ha ha! Man, those kind of testimony meeting make me want to get up and tell everyone what a testimony is and that no one had shared one up to that point.
I'll never forget the time a 60 year old man got up (who should have known better) and proceeded to describe in detail a health condition that he had that almost killed him...he described the toilet bowl as a "bowl full of cherries." I almost vomited into the back of the head of the person in front of me.
Thanks for taking the chance of going to hell and deciding to share!! :) LOVE it!
Reminds me of this one talk that started with, "... and my friends told me, 'You are perfect for this talk. You are the most charitable person in the ward.' And I was like, 'You're right.' So, here is my advice to everyone on Charity." Yes, she was serious.
Yep. You're going to H-E-double-hockey-sticks for that one... at least you'll be in good company.
These were all really funny! Almost makes me wish I were single again.
I really don't think the Lord minds that we laugh at the really silly testimonies found in singles wards, within reason. I joke all the time with Him during my prayers. I think He thinks I'm funny, too. At least I hope he does.
It doesn't change all that much when you graduate to the family ward. These were so funny! My friend Nicolas did a similar thing on his blog called "Things You Don't Need to Say When Bearing Your Testimony." Anonymous was brave in the comments section and told him off so interestingly that we all laughed even harder.
http://ncjeter.blogspot.com/
All that in one meeting? Hilarious.
HA HA HA HA.
YOU MAKE ME SO HAPPY!!!
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